As I drove down the New York State Thruway, headed toward what promised to be an inspiring event on the legacy of Trappist Fr. Thomas Keating and the Centering Prayer movement, I was anything but centered or prayerful.

The state of the world and the state of my own interior life felt chaotic, divided, depressing. Despite the welcome sunshine after a stretch of gray upstate weather, I felt smothered in a blanket of melancholy verging on hopelessness. Why am I even going to this event? I wondered as the miles passed by and I listened to Keating’s Open Mind, Open Heart audiobook in an attempt to get my head into the “right” place.

When I pulled up to the Garrison Institute, a former Capuchin Seminary on the banks of the Hudson River, I felt my shoulders relax away from my ears and my breath deepen as the reality of spending the next 36 hours steeped in spiritual riches loosened the grip of darkness and anxiety.

As I unpacked my bags, I could feel a sacred energy moving about the place, a sense that spiritual seekers were beginning to amass, bringing not only their travel essentials but a hunger for the holy. When I settled into contemplation in my room, I moved so quickly and deeply into prayer that I knew it wasn’t anything I had done, but rather the collective of this group and its intention.

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Cover image was taken by yours truly at the Abbey of the Genesee in Piffard, NY, as the sun was setting.

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Join me on a three-week journey toward real change, transformation that happens from the inside out and has real staying power. I’m not saying you’ll be transformed in three weeks. That’s not possible. What I AM saying is that I can give you the tools, the practices, and the motivation to set yourself on a course for finding what your soul is craving. ReVolution, not resolution is our rallying cry!

Resolve to Evolve is a three-week series that will focus on meditation, mindfulness and discovering the miracle of the mundane right here in the midst of our busy lives. I will be offering this series in-person or online through Jai Yoga School on Sundays, January 2, 9, and 16, from 12:30 to 1:30 p.m. We won’t just talk about these topics; we will get down to the hands-on practice of each. I can’t wait to join you on this journey and see where it takes us!

The three-week series costs $60. You can register by clicking HERE. Additional option: If you have the time and inclination, you can sign up for the Gentle Yoga class I teach at Jai each Sunday from 11:15 a.m. to 12:15 p.m., also available in-person or online. While it’s certainly not required, it’s a great way to prepare for meditation. Class sign-up is available HERE.

If you plan to join me, bring a yoga mat, a blanket or cushion (although Jai has blankets if you want to use one of those), and something to write with. I will provide small journals. Other than that, just bring an open heart and mind and a willingness to be still and silent for a little bit. That’s where the magic happens!

The post Meditation & mindfulness: a three-week series to inner transformation appeared first on Not Strictly Spiritual.

If you go back to the original post that launched this journey, you’ll note that the third thing on our list — after gratitude journaling and creating a sacred space — is making time for silence every day, even if it’s just a few minutes. So let’s talk about that and what it might look like in your busy life. I know making time for silence is usually not easy, even when we have the time and the space, even when we’ve got nothing on our plate but doomscrolling on our phones. Why is it so difficult to sit in silence? Because silence is challenging, especially when we first start — and it’s anything but silent. We might not be saying anything or listening to anything but our mind is screaming with thoughts and memories that demand to be heard.

So, first things first. If you created a sacred space, this is where you should go for your time in silence. If not, find a place where you won’t be disturbed. (If necessary, put a sign on the door or alert family members so they give you some space and peace.) Find a time that works for you — first thing in the morning or just before bed (or both) are the obvious choices, but if you have other times that work better, go for whatever will make you more likely to stick with the practice.

Commit. The hardest part is showing up. Isn’t it funny how we do that to ourselves? We can waste countless hours on TV, social media, shopping, talking or texting, and yet, when it comes to even five minutes of silence on a cushion or in a chair, we suddenly don’t have the time. So commit to showing up, even if it’s only five minutes, even if you say you’ll show up five days each week rather than every day. It gives you a cushion. Although making this a daily practice or twice daily practice — like brushing your teeth or showering — will weave it into the fabric of your life and make it less likely that you’ll shrug it off day after day.

So what do you do once you get to your sacred space and sit in silence. Well, here are the practical/physical tips: You want to sit with a nice straight back, so either sit up on a cushion on the floor (if that’s your style) or sit a chair where you won’t sink back and slouch. If you’re in a chair, you want both feet on the ground. Spine long, crown of the head lifting toward the sky, chin even with the floor of even slightly down so the back of your neck is long. Let your palms rest on your legs. If you’re clenching your jaw or furrowing your brow, relax your face. Soften your heart and belly. Deepen your breath, but don’t force or manipulate it, just gently invite your breath down into your belly rather than breathing shallow from your chest. Close your eyes or lower your gaze so you’re looking at the floor. Now you’re ready. You can set a timer for however long you want to pray, meditate, sit so that you’re not constantly checking your clock (and you will want to constantly check your clock if you’re new to this).

Now what? Now you listen. For the still, small voice, for the Spirit speaking to your heart, for your own inner voice crying out to be heard over the din of the world. Depending on your faith tradition, you might want to begin with a prayer asking the Spirit to guide to you. If you have trouble staying silent and still, find a word or phrase that speaks to you and come back to that, like a mantra. It can be a verse from Scripture or a word that makes you come back to God’s presence, or it can just be your breath. Keep coming back to your breath when you mind wanders, but don’t fight the thoughts that come up. “Monkey mind” is the term Buddhists use for the inability of the mind to quiet its own chatter when we sit in silence or meditate. A spiritual director on my very first silent retreat told me to imagine those thoughts like a leaf or twig floating on a river. Just watch them come and go and let them float away without grasping or attaching in any way. That’s easier said than done, but it will get easier the more you practice. When your timer goes off or you’re done for the day, don’t jump up and grab your phone immediately. Come out of it slowly, maybe with hands in prayer position at your heart. Say a little prayer of thanksgiving if you like or some other prayer, bow your head, and return to life with more gentleness toward yourself and others.

Saying all of this to you inspires me to recommit to my own practice of daily silent prayer and meditation. I often meditate as part of my yoga practice, but I’ve let my early morning silent prayer practice fall by the wayside these days, and I can feel the difference in my life and in my inner peace. Today I will join you in making a plan to sit on my cushion at least five days a week first thing in the morning. Let’s check back next week and see how we do. If you have questions or suggestions or observations, please share in the comment section.

Peace, love, blessings,
Mary

The post Week 3: be still, be silent, just be appeared first on Not Strictly Spiritual.

Mindfulness. Ahhhh…just saying the word makes my shoulders relax and my breathing expand. I love it because I know it works, BUT, that doesn’t mean I always make the time and space for it. I am the queen of multitasking, something I used to think was a good thing. Not so. Multitasking distracts us and makes us feel like we’re doing so much but, really, we are usually half doing a couple of things. I can’t listen to my daughter and scroll through Facebook. I might think I can do that, but she’s going to notice I’m not really there, even if I don’t. I can’t eat dinner and answer emails. Well, I can, but chances are I’ll finish the meal without ever really tasting it.

Multitasking is one of the biggest enemies of inner peace. It robs us of our balance and tricks us into thinking it’s the way to get more done or be more productive and prove we’re working hard enough to whomever it is we think we need to prove something — bosses, coworkers, friends, partner, parents, children, maybe even complete strangers. If we let our worth hang on other people’s opinions, we’re going to make ourselves crazy trying to be everything to everyone. So the challenge is to stop worrying about other people’s opinions and start paying attention to the still, small voice trying to be heard in the silence of your heart. To do that, you have to be mindful and prayerful and quiet. That’s the starting point. And the end point. And every point in between. Mindfulness always, or as often as possible. Just keep coming back to where you are right now without worrying about what’s coming next. It’s not easy to do, especially when many of us have jobs and home lives that keep us in full-time stress mode. Just keep starting over. Eventually it will become comfortable, maybe even “normal.”

If you can’t figure out how to make this mindfulness thing work in daily life, start small. With a cup of tea or a piece of chocolate or a quiet lunch eaten alone without distractions. We’re seven weeks in, so I know you know the drill, but in case you want a reminder, I’ll re-post the mealtime meditation bookmarks. Click HERE for the set of two bookmarks. And, if you missed this the first time around, here’s one of my previous blog posts on the topic: Mindfulness: It’s not just for Buddhists.

Keep in mind that mindfulness isn’t limited to mealtime, to be sure. Try it out when you’re driving to work, when you’re waiting in the car line outside school, when you’re on hold with customer service. Breathe, be present in that moment, and just do that one thing you need to do, not the 12 things everyone else wants you do to. Breathe. Exhale…

Here’s some musical inspiration to go with our theme of the week: “Exhale” by Plumb.

Oh God We breathe in your grace
We breathe in your grace
And exhale
Oh God we do not exist for us
But to share Your grace and love
And exhale

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I had one of those Aha! moments last week, when I sat in a circle of unfamiliar faces during a class on “meditation in everyday life.” The session was designed for people of any faith, or none at all, and so we were an eclectic group: Catholic, Muslim, Buddhist, black, white, Asian, men, women, student, senior and everyone in between. I looked around at first and wondered why I was there. Why hadn’t I just stayed home and enjoyed a quiet evening with my family instead of thrusting myself headlong into this unusual group? And then, one by one, we went around the circle sharing our reasons for being there, and something wonderful rose to the surface: Although the specifics varied, our hopes and needs and hungers were incredibly similar.

Heads nodded in silent, earnest recognition as voices around the circle chimed in with struggles that felt all too familiar: easing stress, finding peace, creating balance, embracing brokenness, learning patience, escaping depression, accepting challenges, becoming mindful, staking out daily silence, reaching toward connection with the Divine.

By the end of the second class, I found myself thinking, “These are my people,” which shouldn’t surprise me at all because I encountered that same truth when I gave a retreat for a dozen women earlier this fall, and I’ve seen the same thing manifest itself whenever I’ve been part of a group of people willing to let down their guard to grow. At our core, we are more the same than we are different. We are not the divided and angry people we encounter on social media and TV, but rather a broken and unsure family that doesn’t always get along but desperately wants to find that sweet spot—the calm, peaceful place that God sets apart for each one of us.

St. Teresa of Calcutta once said, “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten we belong to each other.” That quote has taken on a sense of urgency in contemporary society, when it feels as though we are hardening our collective hearts against each other. Many of us feel powerless to do anything. How can we, in our little corner of the world, turn the tide?

By starting where we are. The tide begins to turn when we withhold the harsh words or mean-spiritedness at the dinner table, in our office, on the exit ramp during a traffic jam, in line at the grocery store. We can choose to see our obvious differences and divisions, or we can choose to see our shared suffering and unity.

This season, when we celebrate the Light that overcomes all darkness, we can make a commitment to be a light for others, to listen and let down our guard, to soften the hard edges of our hearts and help heal our fractured world, remembering always that we belong to each other, that we are one.

Although we tend to think our modern world’s condition is unique or unusual, the truth is that the world has always been divided. Back in 1963, Dorothy Day said: “The greatest challenge of the day is: how to bring about a revolution of the heart, a revolution which has to start with each one of us.”

More than half a century later that challenge remains.

This column originally appeared in the Dec. 7, 2017, issue of Catholic New York.

The post We are one appeared first on Not Strictly Spiritual.

Which brings us to this past weekend, when severe pressure in my chest and shoulder and neck had me checking into the ER at St. Peter’s Hospital — the first time I have ever gone to an ER for myself for anything other than childbirth check-in. Between the pressure and my family history, I felt like I couldn’t take a chance. I ended up spending the night in the cardio unit for observation, and, although the cardiologist doesn’t think it’s my heart (I’ll be going for more testing this week to be sure), it certainly served as a wake-up call to me, because whether it’s a heart issue, a gastro issue (suspected at this point), a stress issue, or all of the above, the fact is that I did this to myself. An expensive way to learn this lesson, but I guess if it causes me to rethink my habits, it’s worth it. I was NOT being so philosophical about this when I was going through it, I’d like to add. Just ask my husband, Dennis, who was holding his head in his hands (literally) as I threatened to remove my own IV and check myself out after nine hours in ER and the prospect of an overnight stay looming. (Gee, I wonder why I have chest pain?)

But, on this morning after, when I’m still not feeling 100 percent and I realize this was not just some passing anxiety attack and is probably going to require medicine, treatment of some sort, and lifestyle changes, I am grateful that my miserable hospital experience has caused me to pull out my juicer and my favorite health book (Crazy Sexy Diet by Kris Carr), check out a few more clean eating cookbooks from the library, and start looking for a way back into exercise and yoga. For the record, I did sign up for a five-week meditation class three weeks ago, in part because I knew I needed a way to balance my life and calm myself down, so on some level I recognized the fact that I was speeding toward a health crisis on multiple levels: physical, mental, and spiritual.

So, I’m here now as a way to not only return to blogging, which is something I have always loved, but as a way to hold myself accountable. Last December, I formed the Cravings Tribe for those who wanted to journey through my own book with me toward a saner relationship with food and a more peaceful life in general. And while that lasted a few weeks, I’ll admit that I did not practice what I preached. I hope some of you did. It’s time I join you.

When I told a work colleague that I had landed in the cardio unit of the hospital, he said, “You’re too young to end up in that ward.” Not true. At 55 years old, I am exactly the right age to end up in that ward, but I don’t intend to go back any time soon. I’m hoping the doctor is right and my heart is still healthy and this is just some diet and stress issue I can handle with minimally invasive help, but, I have no intention of sitting by passively and waiting for others to figure things out. I’m going to reclaim the pieces of my life I gave away in a misguided attempt at being an above-and-beyond type of worker. The email can wait. The phone call can wait. My health cannot. (I only checked work email twice during the writing of this blog post on my sick day. That’s progress!)

If you’re dealing with similar stress and health issues, chime in. We can work through this together.

The post Self-care: Getting an expensive wake-up call appeared first on Not Strictly Spiritual.

So every day, usually at 6 a.m. (although once or twice in the evening instead due to a crazy schedule), I get up, head downstairs, set up my pillows on the floor or on a chair and settle into the silence, breathing deeply a few times to start, rolling my shoulders, stretching my neck and then…stillness. I set my Apple watch to 15 minutes, but I don’t really need a timer at this point. I usually know intuitively just before the little vibration goes off that I’m reaching the end of my session.

Some days I’m in the meditation groove. The stillness seems to envelope me and monkey mind stops it’s chattering. Time flies, and suddenly I’m done. Other days, twinges and itches make me want to readjust my position, thoughts about work or chores or meetings race around my head for at least a minute or so before I even realize what’s happening and acknowledge the thoughts and let them float away. Days like today I can feel the physical stillness like a heavy blanket comforting me even as my mind jumps up and down looking for attention. And I return again and again to breathing and the words that ground me throughout my meditation.

Is it making a difference in my life? Although there is no outward sign at this point to anyone (even me), I would have to say yes, because something is shifting inside. First of all, I just don’t want to miss my quiet prayer/meditation time. I find myself looking forward to it, resisting the urge to sleep in or say I’m too busy to squeeze in 15 minutes. Because, really, I’m never so busy I can’t fit in 15 minutes. If I closed up Facebook, I’d have way more than 15 minutes to work with every day. I can feel something happening not on a level that necessarily changes outward behavior in a dramatic way (at least not yet), but rather changes internal awareness. I still race around from meeting to meeting and deadline to deadline, sometimes so mindlessly I forget to eat my lunch or leave my full coffee cup in the microwave and wonder where it went, but through it all I’m becoming more of a silent observer, watching my own frenetic pace, pulling back when I can or smiling at the same habitual patterns that can tie me up in knots almost daily. Now there is less frustration and more compassion for myself, and I find myself thinking 15 minutes is not long enough. But I’m not worrying about adding on more just yet, about making “progress” or ratcheting things up, which, in itself, is a benchmark for me.

The interesting thing is that the meditation has now led me back to the food-faith journey and, finally, I am on track and making improvements where I was stuck for so many months. So I’ve come full circle. Yes, it’s making a difference, one breath at a time.

The post One month of meditation. Does it make a difference? appeared first on Not Strictly Spiritual.

As we delve into chapter 6, it’s time to take a closer look at ways to bring more balance to our lives. What makes you feel UNbalanced? Is it an overbooked schedule? A kitchen counter piled with clutter? The laundry overflowing the hamper? A work project looming in front of you? Where can you begin to make a dent and tip the scales back in your favor? I think that starts with recognizing that our lives will always seesaw back and forth in major and minor ways. The balance will be found somewhere in the middle of it. Balance doesn’t mean evening out every problem and glitch, but creating an interior space that allows us to stay centered even when things are tilting to one side. Prayer — as always — is key.

For the past week, I’ve been far more committed to a meditation schedule, missing only one morning in about eight days, and, boy, can I feel the difference. The rough edges of my psyche seem a little smoother. The things that grate and gnaw have lost some of their sting. Life seems to be on more of an even kilter. Balance. All of the outward situations are the same — same job, same stresses, same family commitments, same everything. Only one thing has changed: my willingness to sit down in silence for 15 minutes at the start of every day and listen for the Spirit. That one thing is making all the difference. Can I stick with it? Sure. Will I stick with it? It’s anybody’s guess. We don’t always do what’s good for us. But I crave balance, and I can see how the silence creates balance which creates peace, or at least peace of mind.

Where are you finding balance these days? What’s working for you? What’s not working at all? Share in the comment section and let us know how you’re doing.

This week, when you’re looking for a practical way to help make the Cravings changes more concrete, find just one thing you can do to foster balance. It could be silent prayer, or it could be a good old-fashioned closet cleaning session. Trust me, clearing out the garbage in your closet or drawers or desk will go a long way toward clearing out the garbage you hold inside. Open things up, clear a space — literally and figuratively — and watch how things begin to balance out.

Here’s something to get you started: today’s reflection from one of my favorite little books of daily readings, Peace in Our Hearts, Peace in the World.

The post This balancing act called life appeared first on Not Strictly Spiritual.

The past two times I considered YYT-200 training, it was with Lauren Toolin of Yoga Vidya. Both times she was encouraging and firm, letting me know it wouldn’t be easy but it would be so worth it. She didn’t need to convince me, and yet both times I let fear get the best of me — I’m too old, I’m not fit enough, I don’t have the time, it’s too much money, where would I teach anyway, what about liability insurance, and every other excuse in the book. I hate it when fear wins.

Today I was on Instagram and came across a Yoga Vidya Salon with Lauren, where she answered questions about her own path in particular and yoga in general. Her message is one that so resonates with me: It’s not about perfecting a pose; it’s about going deep within. Sitting in total silence for 30 minutes can be much harder than doing a headstand. And yet I get stuck on the fact that I can no longer do a headstand.

Toward the end of her video, in response to a question, she says:

“Yoga changes people, and that’s a beautiful thing, but change isn’t always pretty or easy…Yoga is a great way to change, if you want to change…”

Ah, there’s the rub. Do I really want to change? We often say we want change, but we usually want a transformation of our own making. We have an idea and an image in our head of what our transformation should look like, but that’s just us trying to put our human constructs on the Divine. True transformation means accepting that we might not have any idea what it will entail or whether we’ll like every aspect of what needs to happen, and beginning anyway. That involves letting go of fear and falling in with trust.

Do you want to change? I’m putting together a plan to gather a little tribe of sorts to support each other in whatever change we’re after, to encourage each other, and to give each other a little nudge when one of us is stuck in fear. Do you want to join me? Let me know, and I’ll keep you posted as things develop.

Here’s the full Yoga Vidya Salon video with Lauren if you’d like to check it out. Enjoy.

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