Comments on: Stop being so hard on yourself. Begin again. Always.

By: Mary Moore

Mary Moore — Fri, 06 Jan 2017 14:39:18 +0000

In reply to Kelly. Thanks, Kelly, for sharing, putting words to what several of us were subjected to as children. Has really messed with my head and lack of self-acceptance. And Mary, thanks for"allowing" us to sit with our lack of perfection and know that that is good.

By: Teri

Teri — Fri, 06 Jan 2017 04:42:25 +0000

Funny thing is, I teach beginners, giving them permission to be beginners. Letting them know that perfection is highly overrated, not possible and makes us miserable. I love teaching beginners. And yet, in places where I’m the beginner the negative thoughts start rolling through my brain. When my students say this stuff I stop this thinking in it’s tracks, trying to change their inner dialog.

Yesterday was challenging in so many ways including some memories that cropped up that rattled me. I reached out to a couple of friends for some perspective. After a good nights sleep something shifted and I woke up ready to tackle the day.
Thank you!

By: Mary DeTurris Poust

Mary DeTurris Poust — Fri, 06 Jan 2017 02:41:23 +0000

In reply to Ninette. Thank you for sharing that, Ninette. I think a lot of us can probably identify!

By: Mary DeTurris Poust

Mary DeTurris Poust — Fri, 06 Jan 2017 02:40:15 +0000

In reply to Kelly.

Kelly,
You need to spread some of that around this tribe!!! I could use some. I keep waiting (at age 54) for the wisdom and self-acceptance to surface. It’s in there somewhere, I just know it.
🙂
Mary

By: Ninette

Ninette — Fri, 06 Jan 2017 02:11:32 +0000

I don’t necessarily strive for perfection but could never understand why when I make up my mind to do something or not do it when it comes to food and my body the rest of me doesn’t follow along. Always say to myself, that I am secure in my career, my marriage, my motherhood(my daughter might take issue) but as far as my body is concerned and my relationship with food I feel like a complete failure. From the time I was a little girl I ate for comfort. My life was good but being the oldest of 4 girls I had a lot of responsibility. Eating for comfort hasn’t ever left me. I can’t remember the last time I was hungry. If I close my eyes I can remember the feeling of hunger and taking a bite of my mother’s homemade ravioli as a child. My mind and feelings are jumbled……I wanted to be “fixed in four days”!!!
And so I will begin again tomorrow.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Fri, 06 Jan 2017 01:18:51 +0000

I think I may be the only person who doesn’t care about perfectionism. I am very laid-back (my children may say otherwise). I know that I did not put my weight on overnight and it is not going to come off overnight. I forgive myself for getting to the point where I look in the mirror and hate what I see – or at least I am trying.

I have had a life where I was constantly demeaned. I was never enough. Nothing was ever good enough. Now, at 53-years-old……. I have learned (slowly) that I am okay just the way I am. Life, in all of God’s grace and beauty, is a learning experience. So, I feel no pressure to be perfect, and that is okay.

By: Dennis

Dennis — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 19:43:35 +0000

Reading this, I kept thinking of our 11-year-old gymnast, Chiara. For the rest of the tribe: After switching to her new gym, the coaches insisted she wear bar grips on her hands, something she’s never used before. As we watched her struggle from behind the window in the waiting area, we both became increasingly anxious each time her hands failed to grab the bar and she tumbled to the mat. “She’s going to be discouraged.” “Why don’t the coaches make sure they are on right?” “Why does she have to use these grips? Some of the other girls don’t have grips.” “I feel so bad for her.” When practice ended, we said something gentle about how she’d struggled, and she just kind of shrugged her shoulders, told us the coach had told her to expect these problems until the grips were broken in, and said she just needed to keep wearing them until they softened up. We were duly chastened, and after a couple of weeks, she now feels more confident with the grips than without them. Once again, we can learn from our kids. This time, about perfectionism and the need to be an instant expert.

By: Mary DeTurris Poust

Mary DeTurris Poust — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 17:36:37 +0000

In reply to Patti. It's nice to have company on this journey! Thanks for being here and for sharing.

By: Patti

Patti — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 16:26:38 +0000

I have always struggled with this perfectionist mentality…..just like you I want to be an expert on Day 1! I am really trying to be happy with my progress, my baby steps and stop thinking about the end goal and how long it’s going to take me to get there. I needed to hear this today!