{"id":3626,"date":"2014-03-08T09:05:41","date_gmt":"2014-03-08T14:05:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/notstrictlyspiritual.com\/?p=3626"},"modified":"2022-04-25T21:25:05","modified_gmt":"2022-04-26T01:25:05","slug":"finding-long-lost-memories-dresser-drawer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/notstrictlyspiritual.com\/life-lines\/finding-long-lost-memories-dresser-drawer\/","title":{"rendered":"Finding long-lost memories in a dresser drawer"},"content":{"rendered":"

My March “Life Lines” column running in the current issue of Catholic New York<\/a>: <\/em><\/p>\n

I decided to clean out some dresser drawers last weekend, and mixed in with the shirts I no longer wear and the silks scarves I forgot I had were little pieces of my past. Noah\u2019s handprint in clay from when he was just a year old. A puffy foam heart necklace made by Chiara for a Mother\u2019s Day gone by. Olivia\u2019s old letters to Santa and one to the Tooth Fairy demanding to know what she does with all those teeth anyway.<\/p>\n

As I sorted and stored, dusted and dumped, I turned up one memory after another, moments I\u2019d lost that were given back to me just briefly in the guise of a de-cluttering project. And then I stuck my hand into an old silk travel jewelry bag I\u2019d purchased when I was in China 30 years ago, and I pulled out a torn and yellowed envelope. My first name was scrawled across the front in familiar handwriting, my mother\u2019s handwriting, the mother I haven\u2019t seen or heard or smelled or touched in almost 26 years. And I felt a little stunned, like the wind had been knocked out of me for a second or two.<\/p>\n

I guess I knew I had this letter. After all I had the forethought to store it inside a plastic bag inside a silk bag with some of my old rings and charms, someplace hidden and protected. But, to be honest, I totally forgot that this letter existed. I have very little in the way of personal mementos belonging to my mother\u2014a necklace, an outdated Sunday missal, the beautiful mahogany wall unit that graced the living room of my childhood home and held some of her own treasures and memories. But those are all \u201cthings,\u201d material belongings that really don\u2019t convey much meaning. This letter was another story, like a stolen conversation, a voice from my past.<\/p>\n

As I unfolded the letter, I didn\u2019t even need to read a word to feel the connection. Just holding the pages my mother once held and seeing her handwriting and \u201cMom\u201d signed at the bottom was enough, but as I read on I was so grateful for words I remembered now but had long ago lost sight of. Although the letter wasn\u2019t dated, I could tell from its content that my mother wrote it when I was older\u2014maybe in college or just after, and it was written on my birthday. My mother wrote more of these birthday letters, but this is the only one that survived.<\/p>\n

I used to write similar birthday letters to Noah when he was young, and I have journals for each of my three children, not baby books (we have those, too), but actual diary-type books where I write to them about being their mom. Noah\u2019s book has the most entries, Olivia\u2019s just a few, and Chiara\u2019s only one or two. I guess somewhere in my heart and head I remembered how much I loved those notes from my mother and wanted to give my kids the same thing, but life got in the way, as it often does. And while there\u2019s a case to be made for living life in the moment rather than taking notes about it on paper after the fact, finding that letter made me realize that these little glimpses into the past can resonate in powerful ways.<\/p>\n

That short handwritten note took me back to a time I\u2019d lost, a love and friendship snatched away too soon. It reminded me that my mother was everything I remembered her to be, not some figment of a child\u2019s imagination. With every passing year, it has become easier and easier to imagine\u2014to assume\u2014that perhaps I had sugar-coated the image of my mother and the relationship we shared. This lost letter proved to me once again that it was all so very real and beautiful.<\/p>\n

So excuse me while I put pen to paper and leave some memories for my children.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My March “Life Lines” column running in the current issue of Catholic New York: I decided to clean out some dresser drawers last weekend, and mixed in with the shirts […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":3630,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[121],"tags":[166,175,101,333,300],"class_list":["post-3626","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life-lines","tag-clutter","tag-death","tag-life-lines","tag-memories","tag-mom"],"yoast_head":"\nFinding long-lost memories in a dresser drawer – Not Strictly Spiritual<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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