An upstate New York church recently asked me if I would do a Zoom talk for their parish book club, which had just finished reading \u201cWalking Together,\u201d my 2010 book on spiritual friendship. They sent me some questions in advance \u2014 challenging questions that forced me to sit in silent reflection and struggle with answers that would not be easy. I emailed the moderator and asked if the group was likely to be disappointed if my answers were very different from what they might expect. No, she said. Fire away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
From my computer screen at home, I spoke to a few people gathered at the church and another attending via Zoom. I answered questions with total honesty, even though I knew what I had to say might be challenging to hear. When I finished, two people said they were saddened by my answers because they were hoping I\u2019d be even more convinced of what I\u2019d written, not less so. I wondered if maybe I\u2019d been too honest with them, but quickly realized that I could either disappoint them or disappoint myself. If I chose the latter, it would mean not only disappointment but dishonesty for everyone involved, and that wasn\u2019t an option.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s not surprising that I had shifted my opinion about something I\u2019d written more than a decade before. Think back on your own life and how your perspectives and positions change over time. Evolution in perspective is good thing. I am not the same person I was 10 or 20 years ago, or even one year ago. With every year, every day comes new experiences and relationships, challenges and revelations that shape us and, in some instances, transform us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I wrapped up the book talk, the moderator thanked me, for not only answering the questions but for giving the book club members \u201cpermission to change their minds.\u201d That idea took me aback. Every one of us has a right to change our minds about things big and small, no permission required. It may be something minor\u2014such as a favorite food that no long suits us or a type of music we\u2019ve outgrown\u2014or something monumental\u2014such as leaving a job that no longer brings us joy or changing course on a political opinion that doesn\u2019t ring true to us anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Adapting and evolving is part of the spiritual journey each one of us is on. Our lives are not meant to be static; they are constantly shifting, and we can either go along for the ride or dig in our heels and refuse to grow. For my part, I never want to stop evolving, learning, changing, even if it means disappointing people. And we\u2019re almost certain to disappoint people when we don\u2019t live up to their expectations, but that\u2019s no reason to stay stuck in a place we don\u2019t belong. If the Spirit is nudging us into new territory, it\u2019s time to pay attention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Being willing to change or, even better, being enthusiastic about change, is one of the greatest gifts of this stage of my life. Age does, in fact, have its privileges, if we\u2019re willing to be open, to be wrong, to be challenged, to be curious. As I approach my 58th birthday, what I know now is just how much I don\u2019t know, and that is a glorious revelation because it means there is still so much more for me to learn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Where are you on the journey? Are you open to the Spirit\u2019s invitation, floating down the river of change like a sightseer in awe of your own life, or are you clinging to the familiar on the shore as water rushes around and over you? What would happen if you let go and trusted the current of your life journey? Give yourself permission and see what God has in store.<\/p>\n\n\n\n