{"id":9397,"date":"2012-08-06T10:26:00","date_gmt":"2012-08-06T14:26:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marydeturrispoust.com\/NSS\/2012\/08\/remembering-the-power-of-one-small-life\/"},"modified":"2012-08-06T10:26:00","modified_gmt":"2012-08-06T14:26:00","slug":"remembering-the-power-of-one-small-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/notstrictlyspiritual.com\/uncategorized\/remembering-the-power-of-one-small-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Remembering the power of one small life"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>My annual post in remembrance of the baby I never got to meet:<\/i><\/p>\n

For the past few days I’ve been looking at the numbers on the calendar<\/b>, growing more and more introspective as we inched closer to August 6. It was 14 years ago today that I learned the baby I was carrying, my second baby, had died 11 weeks into my pregnancy. <\/p>\n

With a mother’s intuition, I had known something was wrong during that pregnancy from a couple of weeks before. The day Dennis and I — with Noah in tow — went to the midwife for my regular check up, I didn’t even take the little tape recorder with me to capture the sound of baby’s heartbeat, so convinced was I that I would hear only silence. I went back for the recorder only after Dennis insisted. But somehow I knew. Because when you are a mother sometimes you just know things about your children, even when there is no logical reason you should, even when they are still growing inside you.<\/p>\n

When we went for the ultrasound to confirm the miscarriage, we saw the perfect form of our baby up on the screen. I remember Dennis looking so happy, thinking everything was OK after all, and me pointing out that the heart was still. No blinking blip. No more life.<\/p>\n

With that same mother’s intuition, no matter how busy or stressed I am, no matter how many other things I seem to forget as I drive my other three children to and fro, I never forget this anniversary. It is imprinted on my heart. As the date nears, I feel a stillness settling in, a quiet place amid the chaos reserved just for this baby, the one I never to got hold, the one I call Grace.<\/p><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Four years ago, when I posted about this day<\/a>, I talked about how Grace had shaped our family by her absence rather than her presence.\u00a0 I am very much aware of the fact that life would be very different had she lived. She managed to leave her mark on us, even without taking a breath. She lingers here, not only in my heart but around the edges of our lives — especially the lives of our two girls who followed her. I know them because I did not know Grace. What a sorrowful and yet beautiful impact she had on us. <\/div>\n

So thank you, baby, for all that you were and all that you have given us without ever setting foot on this earth. The power of one small life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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